Goodbyes
by Tootsiepop254
Summary: An idea that has been bouncing around in my head since L's death.. R
1. As Far As Goodbyes Go

Like many others, I was heartbroken when I watched L die (I cried). I decided that he should _live_. But how to keep him alive without ruining the story? Hmm..

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own Death Note. I wish I did, though.

**As Far As Goodbyes Go**

Heart attacks hurt. A lot.

That was the first thought Ryuzaki was aware of. The second was that he had lost. Or did he? He had proven – to himself, at least – that Light Yagami was Kira. Did that mean he had won after all? It was hard to think through all the pain.

But wait – If he was dead, why did he still hurt? The pain in his chest, if anything, was getting _worse._

Ryuzaki concentrated. Everything was black. Well, he was dead, after all, what did he expect? Oh, wait – there, just barely... Yup. There. He could hear voices. Faint, but definitely there. What were they saying? Listen. Don't fade... _Listen_, damn it!

"Clear!"

Clear? What was clear? As far as he was concerned, _nothing_ was clear. Being dead was more frustrating than being alive, it seemed.

"Again! Try again, damn it!"

Try what again? This was getting ridiculous. He needed some answers -

Pain.

More pain than he'd ever felt in his life. Ryuzaki opened his mouth to scream -

And sat bolt upright. Suddenly, the world was no longer black. Ryuzaki shivered and looked around. There were two paramedics, who had fallen back when Ryuzaki had sat up (one was still holding the paddles used to jump start his heart), and one other, who was gaping at the formerly dead man, his face wet with tears.

"Mr. Yagami? I'm not dead." This was said with wonder. His voice sounded raw and weak in his ears. He had no time to brace himself as Soichiro Yagami hurled himself across the tiny space separating them and enveloped the stunned man into a massive hug. He was openly sobbing.

Ryuzaki sighed and pushed the man back. "Watari?"

The police chief shook his head, not meeting Ryuzaki's eyes. "He didn't make it. I'm so sorry. Honestly, you are the only one known to survive one of Kira's attacks."

"Er, technically, that's not exactly true." Both men turned to the paramedic who had just spoken in confusion. "But.. I'm not dead?" This time, it was a question.

Soichiro shifted uncomfortably on the bench. "Well, yes, you are alive _now_. You were clinically dead for almost seven minutes. They -" he jabbed his finger at the two nervous paramedics - "almost refused to try to revive you." Soichiro smiled grimly. "I was forced to persuade them. "

"He pointed his gun at us!"

"Hn." Well, you have my thanks." Ryuzaki inclined his head toward the medics. "Well, since I'm _not_ deceased, you all have my thanks. Mr. Yagami, I will need your cooperation, and most of all, your discretion."

"Of course, Ryuzaki. What are you planning?"

"Who is coming to pick you up from here?" The ambulance had arrived at the at the back of the hospital, where the dead bodies were brought in. The lot was mostly dark and empty. Ryuzaki looked over at the only other ambulance, the one that carried Watari. The pain returned in force, and settled in and around his heart. He stood up and walked over to the ambulance, reaching it just as the back doors were thrown open and a large shape stumbled out. Ryuzaki stared. Could it be?

"Ah, Mogi, there you are!" Soichiro called, and Mogi looked over. And stared in astonishment at the shirtless man staring back at him. His eyes opened wide in disbelief. "R- Ryuzaki? Bu- but _how_? The shinigami _killed _you!"

"And the paramedics brought me back.." Ryuzaki forced a tight smile. "It would seem the Death Note has yet to catch up to technology. Where is the shinigami, and where is Watari's body?"

Mogi gestured to the ambulance. "In there. The chief and I didn't want you two to be left alone. And the shinigami is dead. Well, I guess it's dead. All that's left of it is a pile of sand."

Ryuzaki allowed himself a moment of satisfaction at the thought of the creature who killed Watari dying. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I would like a few moments alone to pay my respects."

"Of course, Ryuzaki. I'll call and have Matsuda bring you some clothes when he comes to pick us up." Soichiro opened his phone and started to dial. Ryuzaki grabbed it out of his hand.

"Ah, the other members are to remain ignorant of my triumphant return." Ryuzaki looked at the two men, his eyes bright and fierce. "Listen to me, both of you," Ryuzaki kept his voice low, but didn't try to hide the urgency in his voice. The two detectives leaned closer. "Rem killed us for a reason. It happened just after I told you about sending the Notebook to another country to test the 13 day rule. The shinigami was protecting someone,"

"Kira." breathed Mogi.

"Misa," corrected Soichiro. He had not failed to catch the way the shinigami acted whenever Misa's name came up.

"Yes, Misa Amane is the second Kira. Of that there can be no doubt. That also means the probability of Light Yagami being Kira is 99.7 percent. They _cannot_ know that I am alive. Will you two keep my secret?" An uncomfortable silence followed, as the three men looked at one another. Mogi shuffled his feet. Soichiro wrestled with the fact that L still considered his son to be the most notorious mass murderer of all time – and was probably correct. Ryuzaki blinked, and waited.

After several minutes of foot shuffling, thought wrestling, and blinking, Soichiro looked Ryuzaki in the eye, and handed him his coat. "Your secret is safe with us. May we ask what your plans are?"

Shrugging into the coat (which hung loosely on his narrow frame), Ryuzaki frowned. "At the moment, I don't have one. I think I'll go home and plan my next move from there. This isn't over. I didn't enjoy being killed." He stuck his hand out to Mogi, who, after a moment's hesitation took it in his own. Ryuzaki then turned to Soichiro. "It was truly a pleasure to work with you all. Please use extreme care and caution if you decide to proceed investigating Kira."

Grabbing the younger man's hand, the chief of police pulled Ryuzaki in for a hug. "You take care of yourself, young man. If we can ever help you, feel free to call me." Pulling away, Soichiro turned his head, trying unsuccessfully to hide his tears. Ryuzaki nodded, not trusting his voice.

Just then a car pulled into the parking lot, and the men instinctively moved closer into the shadows. "Matsuda." Mogi stated. The three men nodded to each other, then the two policemen walked out to the car as Ryuzaki climbed into the ambulance. No one looked back, as they had already said their goodbyes.

Gently pulling back the sheet that covered the old man's face, Ryuzaki gazed at his first friend, the man that had raised and loved him like a father, the man who made looking after the world's greatest detective his only priority in life. He had put his wants and needs aside, and became whatever Ryuzaki had needed. He had never complained, and had only smiled. Now he was dead. Ryuzaki touched Watari's cold cheek.

"Quillish, old friend, I will always remember you as a father. I miss you already." Ryuzaki sat for a long while beside his friend, staring at nothing, letting his tears wash away his grief. Finally, he pulled hi phone out of his pocket, and dialed a number from memory. "I need a ride." He gave the location, then hung up. He looked down at Watari, and gently recovered his face with the sheet. "Goodbye, Quillish." He never looked back, and climbed into the limo when it arrived. "I'm going to the airport," was all he said to the driver, who nodded and took off. Picking up his phone again, he dialed another number. "Roger, I'm coming home. Yes, I'll explain when I get there." Ryuzaki leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes, absently chewing on his thumb. His eyes were dry. He would not cry over Watari again.

As far as good byes went, that one felt pretty good.

**A/N: **Just to clarify, policemen are very close, they are a brotherhood, and very slow to accept outsiders into that 'family', generally speaking. The fact that the police chief and Mogi chose to ride with Ryuzaki and Watari is supposed to show that they had earned a place in that family. This was written to be a one- shot. However, I have ideas. Do you think that I should continue this as a story? Please review and let me know. (hint hint nudge nudge).

T


	2. Succession

I am not sure that extending the story is the way to go. I will post a couple of chapters up, and let my wonderful readers decide.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note. I do, however, own a Death Note wall scroll I picked up at the fair.

**Succession**

The room was silent as the two teenage boys digested the information that was just relayed to them.

"He lost." This simple, emotionless statement, from the white haired boy hunched over a puzzle on the floor, was as close as he would ever get to acknowledging his grief at the news.

"So who did he choose?" The blond boy leaned intently over the desk separating the old man and himself.

Roger sighed. He loved the two boys in front of him with all of his heart, but the sheer level of aggression in the one and the _blankness_ of the other did not make either one very _likable._ He sighed again. He had also been fond of the young man they were discussing. He sighed again. "Since he was killed, he was unable to decide upon a successor." Roger paused, giving the two teens a moment to digest that information. "Perhaps... the two of you could work together?" Even as the words left his mouth, Roger braced himself for what he knew was coming.

"Alright. Sounds good." The boy did not look up from the floor, nor did he pause in his methodical work with the puzzle.

"No way! Roger, you know I can't stand being around Near!" The blond leaning over Rogers desk was shaking violently.

"Mello-"

"No! You know what? Give it to Near. He thinks rationally, and approaches things like that damn puzzle." Mello resisted a childish urge to kick the offending puzzle across the room. He took a deep breath and turned back to the old man. "I am leaving. I'm almost 15. Goodbye, Roger." Mello turned on his heel and stomped out before the old man could speak.

"I will also be leaving shortly. I will need all available info on the Kira case." The white haired boy never looked up from his puzzle.

"Of course Near." Roger watched the young boy pick up his completed puzzle and shuffle out of the room.

The young woman, who had been standing in the corner of the room, waiting to see who her new charge would be, shot the old man a sympathetic look, then quietly followed the boys out of the office, gently pulling the door shut after her.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Roger let his head fall on his desk. L and Watari! How had Kira gotten to them? His thoughts turned to Near and Mello. Near, barely a teenager, was the successor to L. He was going to put his life on the line to catch the man who had killed L.

And there was Mello. AT 14, he was so rash and emotional. True, he was every bit as worthy as Near to carry the title of L. It had been L's wish that the two of them, despite their problems with each other, would agree to take up the title together. They were both going to be in terrible danger as soon as they set foot outside the orphanage. First Quillish and L, then perhaps Near and Mello – and undoubtedly Matt, who followed Mello everywhere...

Roger wept. He wept for friends lost, and children he was losing. So lost in his grief, he didn't recognize the ringing of his phone at first. Hastily composing himself, he opened the connection, but remained silent.

"Roger, I'm coming home." Rogers mind went blank. _L was alive!_ "L? But how? I got the message -"

"Yes, I'll explain when I get there." There was a click as the line went dead. Roger stared at the phone in his hand, and a grin broke out across his face. The boys wouldn't have to leave after all!

**(A/N)** Well, review and tell me what you think! I want to thank everyone who added this story to your favorites. However, a review would be much appreciated!

**Product Of A Sick Society****:** Thank you for your glowing praise. It does my heart good! I've never had my writing described as 'simple, yet sophisticated' before! Personally, I think it's closer to a rabid chipmunk on crack...

**xXxMeltedHersheyBar****: **Thank you for your review. I'm glad you are so excited!

**Bookthehobbit****: **I loved that part too. And I can actually see it happening...


	3. Things Left Unsaid

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note. I do, however, own an L wall scroll.

**Things Left Unsaid**

"No, Roger. It's out of the question." Ryuzaki bit his lip. He had been at Wammy's House for just a few hours, and already it seemed like the walls were closing in on him. Every memory he had of this place featured Quillish -

His gaze slid to the beautiful blond who reclined against the far wall. Well, there were _some_ memories that Quillish was not a part of. She met his gaze boldly, something that not even Roger would do.

_Halle._ This woman was tough as nails, which, as she was to serve his successor, was mandatory. Yet, at the same time, she was still a woman, soft and pliable. In her arms, he was more than just L, the world's greatest detective. He was...

He was simply a man. Staring into her eyes, the walls returned to their rightful place.

"...L? Are you with us?" Ryuzaki snapped his attention back to Roger, who was staring at him with concerned eyes.

"Sorry, my mind was elsewhere," he mumbled. "Please, do continue."

"I was asking you why you couldn't go back and challenge Kira? Surely the fact that he killed you is evidence enough?"

"And yet, here I am, very much alive." Ryuzaki gestured to himself. "I am not dead, and besides, it was the Shinigami who killed me, not Kira. Though I have no doubt that Kira was behind the attack. No, we need proof of Kira's identity. Solid, physical proof. Nothing less will suffice."

"And you can go and find it!" Roger's voice was low and urgent, his eyes pleading. "When you show up, Kira may be so stunned he reveals his identity in public. The boys -"

"The 'boys,'" Ryuzaki cut in, his eyes narrowing. His tone, though still pleasant, made it clear that he would tolerate no more arguing. He was still the world's greatest detective, and therefore master of the house. His authority in this matter was absolute, and he knew it. "The boys are ready. Kira does not know of them. With L dead, Kira will become sloppy. There is an opportunity here. I cannot continue my investigation, as Kira would recognize immediately that I am not, in fact, dead. He would, therefore, be on his guard, and we would be unable to make any progress. No, I cannot make any moves. Your 'boys' are the only hope. I will not order Mello back, and Near will continue with his plans. When does he plan to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning." Halle's voice made both men jump, having forgotten that she was there.

"Fine. I will speak with him now, then I will be going to bed. I do not wish to be disturbed." He waited until Roger nodded, his shoulders slumped in defeat, before he stood and walked out the door. He paused, just before the door closed, and looked at Roger. "They mean a lot to me too. I will try my best to keep them alive. That's a promise." The door closed, and he was gone.

XxX

Roger grasped at Ryuzaki's parting words as a drowning man would grasp a life raft. He knew the young man would keep his promise. He was so lost in thought that he never noticed Halle slip out the door.

XxX

Tomorrow Near would be leaving. Mello had already left, probably in a temper. Matt had left with him. Ryuzaki sighed. He wished that Mello had waited, so he could hear the information that Near was about to receive. He smiled. Near would make sure that Mello was informed. As hard as Mello fought, the pull between the two was impossible to sever. They were family, after all.

Ryuzaki stopped in front of Near's door. It was just one of many identical door that dotted the long hallway, and yet he knew this one was the one he wanted. This had been his room once, before he had risen to the status of 'L'.

A light tap on the heavy oak, and a soft voice invited him to enter. He walked in, and crouched on the vacant chair. The boy, crouched in the other chair slowly turned to face him. For what seemed like hours, the two boys (for in truth, this is what they were, despite their intelligence and Ryuzaki's age) sat, slouched in their chairs, eyes locked in some communication. Finally:

"So I'm still going." It was not a question. Ryuzaki nodded. Near smiled, genuinely pleased. "I was afraid that Roger would talk you out of it. I assume you are going to brief me on the case?"

"Of course. However, I am sure that you know I will not tell you who Kira is, and why?"

"I must come to that conclusion on my own, and find the proof to back it up. If you give me a name, I will be biased and may miss a crucial piece of evidence. Correct?"

Ryuzaki nodded. Near was ready.

They sat together for the rest of the afternoon, speaking quietly about Shinigami and Death Notes.

Finally, as the sun slipped away behind the ever present London fog, Ryuzaki stood, motioning for Near to do the same. He looked the boy over, approving of what he saw.

Near had hit a growth spurt while Ryuzaki was in Japan. Standing straight, Near could almost look straight into Ryuzaki's eyes. Beneath his baggy clothing was wiry muscle. All of the boys at Wammy's house went through intense physical training, both to relieve stress (of which there was an abundance, for Wammy's was a highly competitive place), and teach self defense. Near, like Ryuzaki, had a black belt in three different types of martial arts. And for all of that, he was still a very sensitive, thirteen year old boy.

Impulsively, Ryuzaki grabbed Near's shoulders, knowing this was as much contact as the boy would allow. He looked into Near's eyes, then abruptly turned and walked towards the door. As the door closed, his parting words seemed to echo in the room.

"Be safe, brother."

XxX

Halle came to him that night, as he had known she would. They did not speak of meaningless things like love, and they did not say goodbye when she rose the following morning to shower and dress.

Ryuzaki stayed in his room until he was sure Near was one. He stretched, and rose to greet the day.

XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX XxX

**A/N** Yes, I have a plan... but it needs a little refining. Reviews help me write faster, people! Oh, I fixed Halle's name. The universe is in order now!** I WILL update tomorrow (5/18/09)**

**~T**


	4. The Game Begins

Ooh hello again! Remember me? Yes, it's been a while, but here I am, once again. I hope you enjoy it! As always, please review - I love reading them - they help me improve as a writer, and they feed the plunnies.

**Disclaimer:** Aah, if only I know Death Note. Things would have turned out so differently... But, alas, the only things I own are my purple fuzzy slippers.

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**The Game Begins**

_Damn him to Hell!_

Mello paced from one end of the hideout to the other, furious. Near had sent him a message, on the cell phone that Mello had just activated, under an alias he'd never used. _Damn _that smart-assed kid! The message was short and cryptic.

_L lives – game still on._

_Kira used Death Note_

_Gods of Death exist_

_Good luck _

_N_

_Well. _That asks more questions than it answers. What was a God of Death? And what the hell was a _Death Note _anyway? Reaching the far wall, Mello whirled and hurled his phone (still showing the offending message) at the far wall. His aim was true, and the phone shattered to the floor in several pieces.

The door opened and a lackey (Mello could never remember his name) stuck his head in. "Something the matter, Boss?"

"Yes. I need to find Matt. Do you know where he is?" Mello knew Matt would know about the Gods of Death. Matt was smart about things like that.

The lackey, who had trouble understanding how this _pipsqueak_ of a boy so quickly gained dominion over the much feared gang (although at times he was a _scary_ pipsqueak), shook his head. "Naw, sorry man. Dude said something about fueling up. Left a bit ago."

Mello sighed. Damn Matt and his cigarettes! Well, since he was out, he might as well pick up some chocolate. He reached for his phone, only to remember that it lay in pieces, which reminded him why he needed Matt in the first place.

_Damn Near. This is all his fault. If not for him, I could have called Matt and had him bring me some damn chocolate. Oh well. I'll figure this out on my own. I'll show that brat that I'm better and smarter than he is._

He waved the lackey off, stomped over to his computer, and called up a search engine.

DNDNDN

Near pressed Send and sat back. The message had been brief and contained all the information that Mello would need, and would be confusing to anyone else who happened to read the message. He smiled. Being cryptic also had the added benefit of pissing the hot-headed teen off. But after he got over his snit, he would get to work, determined to beat Near and catch (or kill – they _all_ loved Wammy, and Mello had always been eager of L's approval) Kira first. Mello would tackle this new information from a different angle, one that only Mello – or L – would be able to think of. Then he would let Near know, as a way of showing off, how much he had learned. Maybe he would let something slip, and hand Near an answer or vital clue needed to win the game.

Reaching into his pocket, Near pulled out a photograph. Well, at least he had a bargaining chip, if need be. Carefully, so as not to damage it, he refolded the photograph – the only one of its kind, thanks to L (who had only let that one exist because he knew how much it meant to Near) and returned it to his pocket.

Near stared at his blank computer screen. Mello. He wished Mello wasn't as smart as he was; perhaps they could have remained friends. No, if Mello wasn't exactly who he was the two boys would have never met in the first place. He recalled L's words when the young man had found Near – a small, awkward, freakish boy of 12 – on the floor of his room, crying.

_"This isn't the friendliest place Near. Trust me, I know. Be happy you experienced it and carry it in your heart. Most in this place will never know true friendship. But don't let it affect you. My successor must be able to function – no matter what."_

That was the longest speech L had ever given, and the only personal interaction the two had ever had. And every word was true. Friendships among the Wammy's kids was not a usual happening. It was common knowledge (in the orphanage, anyway) that L's only close friendship had been torn apart by the competition to become the best, and the friend had turned to violence rather than play second string to L, becoming a famed serial killer. Such was the level of competition. Near had taken the advise to heart, effectively closing himself off, just as L had. And Mello had taken over a street gang. Hopefully the pattern wouldn't repeat itself.

Near shook his head, turned the computer on. Time to find out who Kira was. L had given him all the information he'd gathered (leaving out Kira's identity, of course), so it should be a simple matter of connecting the dots.

The real problem, of course, was catching him.

**MiaoShou:** I wouldn't call her his _girlfriend_, as that implies a certain level of commitment (which, obviously, is not the case). I thought about making it shonen ai, actually.

**vespirak:** Yes, L is the MAN. The story, for the most part, will stay with L, with enough about the boys to keep readers informed. That's the plan anyway!


	5. Interlude

**A/N: **Wow I'm back! Does anyone still read this old thing? Most sincere appologies for letting it stagnate as long as I have. I lost inspiration and moved on to other absessions. I've recently started writing again, but in the Inuyasha and Blood+ categories. **_Goodbyes_** has stayed in my thoughts, though.

This chapter feels a little rough to me. I'll get back into the flow of the story soon. This chapter deals with the three year gap between the death of Watari and when Near confronts the American government with L being an imposter. Please let me know if anything is unclear. And please, PLEASE review! Thank you!

Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own it.

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_**Interlude**_

It had been a long three years. Ryuzaki, now retired as L, still took cases as Eraldo Coil, since solving cases was what he knew how to do, but he did it from his rooms in the orphanage. He also watched the spread of Kira's influence over the years. As people flooded the internet with websites devoted to Kira, they cowered in fear of an unknown power. They began worshipping Kira as a new god.

Life at Wammy's House continued much as it always had. The few children living there continued to learn the skills they would need to survive in their chosen professions later in life. Most importantly, they were taught the need for anonymity. Ryuzaki himself served as a walking reminder of this.

It was common knowledge among the residents of the orphanage that Ryuzaki had been killed by Kira, only to be resuscitated. It was also common knowledge that he knew the identity of his foe, and had refused to impart that information to his two successors now working the case. Not that those successors had asked. Such was the way of life at Wammy's that no one thought to ask who Kira was, or why the infamous detective continued to allow Kira to roam free. Or why Ryuzaki sent the two boys after him instead of going after the killer himself. Ryuzaki had lost – his role in the case was over. It was the nature of Wammy's kids to seek answers for themselves, rather than relying on someone else to supply the answers.

As soon as Ryuzaki had settled back in at Wammy's, he'd set about confiscating and destroying all photos of Near, Matt and Mello. All except one. Though Near would have given up his picture of Mello readily, Ryuzaki just couldn't bring himself to take it. He knew that the photo was the only thing the boy was sentimentally attached to, and let him keep it.

Though he was no longer investigating the Kira case, Ryuzaki still kept tabs on Light Yagami and Misa Amane. He regretted the deaths of Wedy and Aiber. Kira was cleaning house. When Light moved in with Misa, Ryuzaki smirked. That was a mistake. With the two Kiras under one roof, they were sure to slip up. Ryuzaki briefly wondered how Light was putting up with Misa's foolishness.

When Light foisted himself off as L, Ryuzaki watched the communication from his own setup. He had to admit, the boy had talent. Too bad he was a mass murderer. When he'd sent his first communication as Watari, several months later, Ryuzaki lost it. He'd flown into such a rage that Roger had had to have him sedated and confined to his rooms, lest he scare the children.

Ryuzaki emerged from his rooms two days later, more reserved than usual. The young man went out of his way to avoid contact with Roger (Roger was sure Ryuzaki was ashamed of his behavior, but knew he would reject any form of solace). Roger breathed a sigh of relief when Near showed up one day, out of the blue, asking to speak with L.

XxX

Near and Ryuzaki sat, crouched in their chairs, staring at each other across the table. Near spoke first.

"So Kira is pretending to be L."

"Yes. He seems to be... adequate, so far," Ryuzaki's voice was neutral. "He's been acting as me for quite some time now. Since he killed me, in fact."

"And Watari." Ryuzaki clenched his knees at the teen's words. He hadn't cared when Light was pretending to just be L, but the fact that he had the audacity to pose as Watari...

That was just _wrong._

Near continued speaking, ignoring his lack of response. He knew the man had secretly viewed Watari as a father and was still dealing with the reality of his death. Roger had warned him that 'Watari's' message had unhinged the young man. "I think I'm ready to begin moving against Kira."

Ryuzaki looked up, meeting the boy's eyes for the first time. "Show me."

Wordlessly, Near handed him a folder. "This is the information I've gathered and verified," he said. "It should be enough to begin discrediting the fake L."

"America." Ryuzaki replied at once. "America has mistrusted this L for at least a year. Convince them first, and they will help you with the others."

Yes. That was my plan. I'm glad you approve." Near took the file and rose to leave. Pausing at the door, he looked back at Ryuzaki. "If you find you need a change of scenery, I hear New York is quite nice this time of year."

Ryuzaki sat there, staring at the now empty doorway, mind racing. Then he rose and went in search of Roger. Decisions needed to be made.

He hadn't felt this energized since Watari died.


End file.
